Spellbound

 

It's been a while since I reviewed a show that has actually come out in the last year. My guess is it's because in our age of streaming, most shows are old before they get to a streaming platform my kids and I can watch it on. But it this case, Spellbound was sort of made for streaming, so I think my review of it is still timely and relevant... maybe?

Spellbound actually did come out in November of last year, and the big draw is that it was from the co-director of Shrek. You can definitely see some of the Shrek influence; there's many of the elements of a classic fairy tale, but with some twists that can throw you for a loop.

The first twist that I found refreshing is that the story doesn't begin with us seeing how the main character's life gets ruined through a curse. That has already happened. Princess Ellian's parents have been turned into mindless monsters and all we know is it happened during a trip into the Dark Forest of Eternal Darkness. Ellian and her parents' advisors have been trying to keep this a secret from the kingdom for the past year, which means they have been essentially running the country while also cleaning up all the messes her monster parents make while rampaging around the castle. 

She's literally barely holding things together.

I liked this beginning because many children's fantasy stories, including Shrek, start us off with, "Here's how things are before," then show us how they get ruined, and while some do it well, a lot of them almost broadcast too much of what the rest of the movie is going to be. If we knew what caused the curse, or what their lives were like beforehand, we'd probably know exactly what lesson everyone is supposed to learn and what they'll probably have to go through to get there. Instead, we have no idea what led up to this moment, and we get immediately thrown into the story. It's really a great example of in medias res. 

Ellian is of course desperate to find a cure for this curse because she wants her parents and the life they had together back, but also because the stress of managing two monsters and the kingdom and keeping this secret from the head of the military is becoming two much. Her advisors, however, just want to get their lives as royal advisors back, along with all of the perks. The movie begins on Ellian's 15th birthday, and she is now of age. So they decide the best course of action is to have Ellian take the throne, and move the monstrous king and queen to the country. Ellian agrees, but only if they first meet with the Oracles of the Sun and Moon to make one last attempt to break the curse.

Side note, can you imagine a 15-year old running a country? I mean, when they were writing the laws, who said, "I think 15 is a good time for someone to take over ruling the nation without a regent. Sure, they'll still be in the middle of puberty, if they've even started, but we all know teenagers are excellent decision makers who think logically and aren't emotional wrecks over tiny little inconveniences. It's not like they're overgrown toddlers with broiling hormones."

Anyway, to make a long story short, the Oracles (played brilliantly by Titus Burgess and Nathan Lane) explain darkness somehow entered her parents and changed them into monsters, and her parents are the only ones who can break the spell. To do so, they will have to go on a journey, following lights through the Dark Forest of Eternal Darkness to remove the darkness inside. Ellian knows they won't be able to do this alone, because they're mindless monsters, so decides she'll be their guide. The Oracles warn her that if she lets darkness inside herself, she, too, will be lost and become a monster.

I just think the Oracles are so cute!

This little clue about what happened to her parents intrigued me. What did her parents do to allow darkness in themselves? Was there something sinister happening behind the scenes? We don't know a ton about life before they were monsters, but Ellian keeps saying she just wants things to go back to the way they were, and we get little clips of them together as a family that seem idyllic.

I don't want to spoil the ending because I was stunned and also so satisfied with the revelation of what was actually going on, but I will do a spoiler discussion below if you want my full thoughts on this movie.

For now, what I'll say is I really enjoyed this movie. There's something about the familiar fantasy journey formula with a sudden twist at the end that I liked a lot. I think I am also easily influenced by hearing familiar voice actors and really liked John Lithgow in his role, as well as Titus Burgess and Nathan Lane's lovely singing. The symbolism in some of the scenes was really nice, too.  And the lesson/topic of the movie is something that doesn't often get portrayed or discussed in kids' movies, at least not in this way. Again, I'll talk more about the ending below, but here, I'll just say I think it's helpful for every family to understand and talk about this topic in a healthy way.

With all that said, I can see how some people don't love this movie. It currently has a 48% on Rotten Tomatoes. Lots of critics call it derivative, or nothing special. I admit, it isn't as ground breaking as, say, Shrek was back in the day. Much of it feels familiar, like any other kid's animated movie. But for me, the twist at the end, the symbolism, and the beautiful visuals make it worth a watch.

Oh, did I forget to mention the cat-owls? Yeah, there's cat-owls. They are majestic and adorable

My ratings:

Kid's Entertainment: 3/5

I think my kids liked this movie when we first saw it, but they haven't asked to watch it again. I did see them watching it a second time at their aunt's house, but I'm not sure if that's because their cousin put it on for them or if they saw it as an option and asked for it. Still, I think they enjoyed it at least for one run-through.

My Entertainment: 4/5

Maybe my movie pallet is just not very mature, but I liked this movie! I thought it was fun and I enjoyed the music, the story, the animation, the world building, and the moral of the story. I do admit it is a bit run of the mill as far as the main plot goes, but it still kept me engaged.

Content: 4/5

The topic/moral of this movie is one that we don't see very often in children's cinema, but it's something that even if they don't deal with personally, they will have friends that are in some way affected by it. And it portrays it in such a way that I think whether or not your family or kids have experienced it, it can be a great jumping off point for a discussion in your home.

Now, for some spoilers. Stop reading if you don't want to have the surprise ending ruined for you.

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Seriously, I really liked that this was a twist for me and I didn't see it coming.

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Are they gone?

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Okay, here goes:

If you saw the movie, you already know, the big twist at the end is that this isn't a happy ending. This is a story about divorce. And maybe I am totally clueless, but despite all of the hints along the way, I didn't see it coming.

One of our first hints about the end, and about what caused the king and queen to become monsters, is Princess Ellian complaining that her monster parents are always fighting. This was lost on me at first, as I assumed it was just a symptom of being monsters. As it continued, I did realize that it was symbolic of Ellain feeling caught in the middle, and of parents arguing, but I was sure that it would be fixed once the parents were changed back, and that they would realize the error of their ways, and they would be a happy family again. Again, I didn't pick up on the fact that all of Ellian's happy memories with her parents are from her childhood, and none of them are very recent.

I really liked the scene where they're in the cave and every time someone says something mean or in anger it bounces off the walls like a dangerous bolt of electricity. It was such a beautiful way of portraying how words can hurt, but kind words can also heal. I saw the parents calling to Ellian (or, "Girl," as they called her) as evidence that things were getting better. They were mending their ways and learning to get along and speak kindly.

Then, when they fought over whose idea was better for getting across the desert, I picked up on the fact that Ellian complains that they always put her in the middle, and that was probably my first inkling of  what life was actually like before her parents became monsters, but I still didn't totally get it. I still believed this was a story of a family who has problems, but who will figure out how to fix it in this journey.

When her parents realize what caused them to turn into monsters (that they were fighting with each other), I wasn't completely surprised, as I realized this had been slowly hinted at over time. But what really threw me for a loop was the fact that they realized the darkness that had caused this wasn't going to go away. They couldn't fix the problems they had. As they said, "We don't want to be those people any more." 

The moment I finally realized what the movie has been hinting at the whole time.

That's when I realized this was a movie about divorce. Ellian wasn't going to get her happy ending, at least not the one she wanted, and the one that most movies have trained us to expect. That's what had me totally stunned.

But the thing that I think is most important is how Ellian feels about this. She's angry, she's hurt, she's scared. She's been trying for so long to get things back to how they were, and now she's told they're never going to go back to that. She thinks because her parents have stopped loving each other, they could stop loving her. She feels all the things children of divorce feel.

I think normalizing these feelings is important. And even more important, the movie's climax shows kids that that things will be okay. Her parents, although they can no longer be partners in a romantic sense, are still partners in caring for her. They work together to save her, because no matter how they feel about each other, they love her. That unites them, and that carries into the finale. While they no longer live together, they are still co-parents, and they work together make sure their daughter is happy and well-adjusted.

This family still has love in it, but it's shaped more like an arrow than a triangle now

Now, divorce is a tricky subject, and there are lots of reasons divorce happens. This movie portrays one particular cause: two parents that simply can't work things out. Obviously if the reason for divorce is abuse or infidelity, the resolution to this film may not apply to kids whose parents have divorced. They may not be allowed to see one parent, or may not want to. But I think this film is a good jumping off point to discuss divorce in general, whether or not you have divorce in your family. If your child has experienced divorce, you can watch this movie and talk about whether they felt the same way Ellian did, or if they still have similar feelings. If your child doesn't have personal experience, they probably still have friends who do, and you can talk about the fact that divorce isn't a child's fault, and that it can be hard for kids, but sometimes it's necessary, and it doesn't change the fact that their parents love them. 

Someone on Rotten Tomatoes left a negative review for this movie saying they didn't like how it normalized divorce. Honestly? Divorce is already normalized. Half of marriages end in divorce. And while there are lots of movies where parents get divorced, or there has already been a divorce, there are few that help a child see that it's going to be okay. There are few that explore their feelings in such a relatable way. I think kids need that. That's why this movie is so groundbreaking and important.

2000s Disney Movies

Today, I'm gonna do something a little different and talk about three different Disney movies from the 2000s. This was called Disney's Experimental Era, and the internet has lots of opinions on them. In general, I think these movies weren't box office hits, and/or were not rated very highly. Some people, however, have lately suggested these were some of Disney's overlooked gems. My youngest has started asking to watch a show every day, and since I still have some power over what we watch, I thought I'd try out a few of these movies I haven't seen since I was a teenager and let you know the results.

First, I watched Atlantis: The Lost Empire.

Budgeted at around $90–120 million, Atlantis grossed over $186 million worldwide. On Rotten Tomatoes it has a 48% on the tomatometer, and 55% on the popcornmeter.

I had high expectations for this because it feels like the internet is in love with it. I see posts with clips from the movie, or explanations about some of the easter eggs, or rants about why it is one of Disney's best at least once a week, I swear. When it came out, I think I had high expectations as well.

Which is maybe why, both times, I was set up for disappointment.

Don't get me wrong, this is a good movie. There's lots of action, some hilarious quotes, and it is definitely something different from Disney's usual formula. But it is so confusing, especially in the second half. The explanation of how Atlantis fell is so fast, I'm not sure it even makes sense. The king used their crystals to create weapons but that led to the weapons... turning on them? Is that right? And then the living crystal power thing chose Kida's mother to be its vessel so it could save the city, submerging it beneath the ocean and even beneath the crust of the earth. Yet somehow they have a day/night cycle in the city. 

I still don't really get where the city is. Where are these clouds coming from?

And there are so many plot holes. Kida, who is over 8,000 years old, says that her people's way of life is dying because they don't remember so much of their culture. But if she's 8,000, surely her father is as old as humanity itself. Why doesn't he remember how to read their language? Why doesn't anyone in their city remember all the stuff from before Atlantis was submerged? I would honestly understand if it had been hundreds of generations ago, but everyone in Atlantis was alive when it fell. It's like me saying, "Man I wish I could remember the 90's," even though I'm a 90's kid.

Also, even after Kida, having merged with the crystal life force power thing, was locked in a box for who knows how long, and then saved the city from the lava stuff, she got out of it unscathed but her mother was merged for too long and so was lost within the life fore power thing... even though her mother immediately saved the city as the vessel and wasn't first locked in a box for a while... Kida's the one that made it out.

I think I'm probably in the minority, but I have to say, I understand why this movie didn't do amazing at the box office. Overall, this movie probably could have used a little more time to develop the second half. There's also so many characters, and they are mostly there for comedic effect, not to actually further the story. You could have wrapped up all the rag tag bunch of friends Milo makes into one or two characters and it would have had a similar effect, and cut down a ton on time. The hype around this movie definitely didn't help. I remember being so excited to see this as a twelve-year old, and coming out of the theater feeling, "Meh." I stand by that feeling.

Again, it's a good movie. It's beautifully made, and quotable, and unique, but I honestly don't think I'd call it underrated. At this point I might even say some overrate it.

Next up, Treasure Planet

This was originally a box office dud. It had a budget of $140 million and grossed just over $109 million worldwide. However, it has a better Rotten Tomatoes score than Atlantis, 69% on the tomatometer and 72% on the popcornmeter.

I didn't remember much about this movie at all, and it doesn't seem to get the attention that Atlantis gets, at least on any of my feeds. I don't think I cared for it much. But my husband said he loved it as a teen, so I went in with hesitant optimism.

Guys, I loved this movie. I loved the animation, the story, the jokes, the voice acting, the characters, and the sci-fi adaptation of Stevenson's classic novel. I can see why my husband loved it. In a sea of Disney Princess movies, this is one of the few adventure stories with a male lead that probably would have spoken to him. 

I can also see why I as a teenager wasn't super excited about it. I was getting into my anime phase and probably wouldn't have liked the weird aliens depicted when I had pretty bishonen boys on my mind. I probably also couldn't help comparing it to Muppet Treasure Island from a few years previous and disliked 1) the lack of musical numbers and 2) the lack of muppets. In fact even watching this as an adult I kept thinking, I gotta go rewatch Muppet Treasure Island now. 

But that doesn't change the fact that I thought this was excellent. Can we talk some more about the voice acting? Martin Short heightens Ben's character to perfect comedic relief, and every line from David Hyde Pierce's Dr. Doppler is *chef's kiss*. I'm still quoting in my head, "Did you actually aim for that?" "You know, actually, I did?!" Of course you also have Emma Thompson and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Brian Murray does such a great job with Long John Silver's rough but soft-hearted pirate voice. Combined with the art and the story, by the end I really loved these characters.

I do wish Doppler and Amelia's babies at the end didn't follow the formula, "the girls look like Mom and the boys look like Dad." This whole movie was full of unique life forms, why couldn't they have made babies with dog ears but cat noses or dog faces with cat eyes and coloring? 

Other than that, it was good fun, and a cool way to tell the Treasure Island story. I think it's definitely underrated.

Finally, I watched Chicken Little

This one is sort of Treasure Planet's opposite, in that it did well at the box office but poorly in the ratings. It scores a 37% on the tomatometer and 47% on the popcornmeter, yet it grossed $314 million worldwide with a budget of $150 million. 

I actually seem to remember liking this one as a teen, and feeling that it was judged too harshly. My feeling now is... maybe less kind, but I still don't think it's necessarily terrible.

I did enjoy the physical comedy near the beginning with Chicken Little trying to get to school as a, well, little chicken. But I found myself second-screening after he arrived. While the movie is funny, it's much less quotable than the other two.

It's also not nearly as beautiful. This was Disney Animation's first foray into 3D computer animation (everything by Pixar up to that point doesn't count because Pixar was not yet owned by Disney), and they were definitely still figuring things out. Foxy Loxy in particular looks like the inspiration behind the monsters of Five Nights at Freddie's.

Haunting

The story itself is fine. The twist on the original Chicken Little folk tale with aliens is fun, but as an alien invasion movie with a strained parent-child relationship, it's nothing special. The moral of the story is also rather trite. In fact at a certain point I thought, "Yes, we get it, he's a bad parent, he needs to be more supportive, he can stop saying it now."

Still, as far as kids' movies go, this isn't the worst I've ever seen. It was cute, and honestly very nostalgic. Today's kids may not find it nearly as charming as my generation because they won't understand why everyone is calling each other on their phones when the teacher leaves the room (not even texting! Forget social media!) or what a phone line is, or all the 2000s references.

So much nostalgia in one picture

Overall, no, it's not underrated. It's probably rated just right.

You may wonder why I picked these three movies in particular to re-watch. Well, all three are movies I only saw once when they came out in theaters and then never again. I've seen Lilo and Stitch and Emperor's New Groove a hundred times, and I didn't see Brother Bear until years after its initial release. These three are movies from my childhood (er, teenhood?) that I wanted to revisit and see if time had changed my mind. As you can see above, my opinions have changed in some areas, and haven't in others.

Maybe watching a movie from your childhood you haven't seen in forever, especially with your kid, could be a fun experiment in your home. See what you think, and what your kids think, too!

44 Cats

 

A couple of months ago, my kid started watching this show on Netflix. I could have sworn one of those "This title will be leaving soon" warning popped up, so I told my kid we could watch it, but it might go away soon. And so she watched it religiously for days, trying to soak up every moment before it suddenly disappeared. I endured this bland but innocuous show because I knew it would go away soon.

And then... it didn't go away.

At the end of the month, it was still there. Huh, I hadn't really noted what day Netflix had said it was leaving. Maybe in another week or two. My kid triumphantly said day after day, "Mom, it's still here!" "Yeah," I replied, confused. If you check right now, it's still there. And there's no warning that it's leaving soon. So either I'm crazy and imagined the warning, or my daughter single handedly convinced Netflix that kids were actually enjoying the show because the streaming count spiked, so they decided to leave it on there.

Moral of the story: don't tell your kid when a show is leaving a streaming service unless you're 100% sure it is.

Thankfully we no longer watch this every single day, but I figured it would be worth it to review now that I've had some time away from it.

44 Cats is actually mostly about four cats named Lampo, Pilou, Milady, and Meatball. There are other cats that come and go every episode, but I haven't counted to find out if they add up to 44 in total. According to Wikipedia, the series was inspired by a children's song called "Quarantaquattro gatti," made famous in the 1968 Zecchino d'Oro competition. So maybe the Italian creators of the show just wanted to make a show about lots of cats and knew this song was already well known and thought they'd use that as a title and theme song.

Our main characters form a band called The Buffycats, and they live with an older lady they call Granny Pina. While they and all their cat friends talk, stand on two legs, wear clothes, and even seem to own shops and have jobs, Granny Pina doesn't know this and treats them like regular cats. Well, except for the fact that she feeds them noodles. I didn't realize until several weeks into the 44 Cats marathon I had created that the show was originally Italian and couldn't figure out why these cats were constantly eating pasta.

By the way, the pasta gives them super powers.

There's a whole song about the noodles of Granny Pina and how they're a stress cure, will take away your fever, and will give you noodle power. The cats eat the pasta every time they're feeling tired or need extra strength. But also, The Buffycats all have special, supernatural abilities that I can only assume they get from this pasta, because no one else in the show has such powers (well, except for the couple of cats that are either ghosts or from outer space or whatever). 

Lampo's whiskers will guide him to whatever he says he's looking for. Like, he'll just announce, "My whiskers will show us the way!" and they do! It doesn't matter what it is, if he says he's looking for something or wants to know where the problem is, his whiskers obey and yank him in the right direction.

Milady's fur turns pink when someone tells a lie, but I swear this doesn't always work. More on that in a bit.

Pilou... well, Pilou may not actually have powers. She's just really cute. When she uses "the look" people become mesmerized, saying things like, "Oh, how adorable!" and it distracts them or convinces them to do what she wants. But, like, cats can do this in real life, too.

Finally, Meatball is... fat. He has a huge appetite and eats constantly. Wikipedia tells me he's also able to sense danger, but I don't remember seeing that in the show at all. It's all about food with this guy. Sometimes his eating causes problems (he eats while they're putting on music concerts for their fellow cats, for instance, interrupting the show). Seriously, this dude has an eating disorder and needs help. And he needs a personality beyond "fat and hungry."

Most of the show's conflict comes from their next door neighbor, Boss, and his cronies, Blister and Scab. Boss is a bully with very little motivation beyond enjoying making others suffer. There is nothing beneath his tough guy exterior. There's no secret softer side, and no reason to pity him. He lives in a giant mansion and should be plenty happy. There's no backstory to explain why he likes being mean to the Buffycats. Boss is always up to some scheme, seemingly simply to have a scheme, but Milady's fur isn't constantly pink and this is why I don't think her special power works all the time.

Most episodes focus on beating Boss in some competition. I've seen art competitions, eating competitions, several different types of races and obstacle courses, all of which Boss attempts to cheat at, some of which Milady's fur turns pink for.

Sometimes the conflict comes from helping someone find something or gain a skill. By that description you would think this is a perfect show for little kids and they must be learning all kinds of wonderful life lessons about perseverance and kindness and things like that.

But most of the time, there is no lesson. It's more like a punchline. For example, one episode centers on trying to do something nice for Granny Pina for her birthday but these birds The Buffycats invited inside the house keep messing everything up. At the end the birds eat Granny's birthday cake and fly off. Granny Pina shrugs it off and says, "Oh, well, we'll have vegetable soup instead." The Buffycats moan and the credits roll. It really gurns me that the birds never have any comeuppance for being terrible houseguests and the Buffycats don't get anything for their hard work. Granny Pina doesn't even get a birthday cake!

Still, I don't think the show does any harm. It's not like the moral of the birthday episode is "be like these awful birds." I just don't think there is a moral. It's a series of events that ends with a joke meant to entertain kids.

As for the jokes, they are very kid-oriented. Half of them center around how Meatball never stops eating, and the other half are sort of dramatic irony, such as the vegetable soup in place of birthday cake. Lots of episodes end with groans or eyerolls from the Buffycats as they contemplate the futility of their efforts. My kid laughs. I mostly do my own eyeroll.

Overall, it's a show meant for kids and it is entertaining to my young child. She likes the cats. I get annoyed at some of the voice over work. One cat, Gabby, is the epitome of the classic Valley Girl, and sometimes I can barely handle the way she talks.

Um, like, what are you talking abouagha?

It's not great but I don't think it's teaching bad things. As a parent I'd skip it, but if your kid happens upon it, I wouldn't say you should tell them they shouldn't watch it. But, maybe you can go do dishes in the other room while it's on.

So, here's my ratings:

Kid entertainment: 3.5/5

We haven't watched this in a while, but every now and then she asks for it and watches it for surprisingly long stretches. I guess there's something about it she likes (probably the fact that there's cats).

My entertainment: 2/5

I have watched a few episodes and while I don't really think the jokes are funny, some of the storylines are okay. I don't hate it, I just wouldn't ever choose to watch it.

Content: 3/5

As I said before, most of the episodes don't really have a moral. But there's nothing that is really bad. I think overall there's a theme of being a good person/kitty instead of a jerk like Boss, so maybe that's one plus. Some shows teach, some shows entertain, this is the latter.

Descendants: The Rise of Red

 

The movie of the month at our house is Descendants: The Rise of Red. My daughter has been Elsa for Halloween every year since she was two years old, and this year she wants to be Red. So, there's gotta be something to this movie.

It took a while for me to actually see the whole thing beginning to end, because my daughter kept wanting to replay different scenes (particularly certain songs) when she watched it. So it wasn't until recently that I totally understood the plot.

And, quite honestly, it still doesn't make sense.

Normally I try to avoid spoilers, but today I'm going to spoil some stuff because I have to talk about every aspect of this movie. 

If you're not familiar with the Descendants movies, this will make even less sense than normal, but the basic premise of Descendants is that all the villains from all the fairy tales (really, from every animated Disney movie) were sent to this Isle of the Lost. Something like twenty years later, the son of Belle and Beast, heir to the throne of Auradon (which is basically all the kingdoms of said fairy tales united together under one main kingdom), decides the children of the banished villains should get a chance to come to Auradon Prep and learn to be good. After all, they haven't committed the crimes of their parents and should get a chance to live as all the heroes and their kids do and prove they aren't bad.

Descendants: The Rise of Red is the fourth movie in the series, and introduces all new characters. Uma, the daughter of Ursula, has become the new principal of Auradon Prep and declares as her first action that she's inviting Princess Red, daughter of the Queen of Hearts of Wonderland, to the school.

For whatever reason, the Queen of Hearts wasn't sent to the Isle of the Lost like the other villains. Instead, Wonderland was closed off from the rest of Auradon, made into its own sort of prison. It's sad because really only the Queen is bad. I mean, there's lots of crazies in Wonderland but I wouldn't call many of them actual villains, yet they're stuck with this evil queen and don't get to be a part of the united kingdoms of Auradon.

The one person that fights back against the queen's tyranny is her daughter, Red. Except, the only scene we get of her rebelling is the song "Red." 

In this song, Red proclaims she's "on a path of destruction" and proceeds to throw a paint-filled balloon at a picture of her mother, then breaks a bunch of vases and cuts up some red rose bushes. The guards chase after her, and she evades them by throwing heart-shaped fireworks at them. Besides vandalism and breaking the queen's curfew law, I'm not really sure how well Red is "fighting" her mother's tyranny.

Anyway, Red escapes the guards thanks to her friend and tutor, Maddox Hatter. All of the descendants in these movies have names that relate to their parents in some way, but I think Maddox Hatter is my favorite name joke in these movies. After rescuing her, Maddox reveals a special pocket watch that can transport you to the past, but he warns you shouldn't mess with time because it can have unintended consequences. Red steals the watch while hugging him.

The next day we see a little more of Red rebelling against her mother when she avoids sentencing the Jack of Spades to be executed, which in my opinion is way better way to resist evil than dumb vandalism. The queen disapproves of everything Red does, it seems, and keeps trying to turn her to the dark side. Also, she has a British accent while Red has an American one, so they probably disagree on what to call fried potatoes, as well.

Anyway, they receive an invitation for Red to attend Auradon Prep, and the queen surprisingly accepts. The invitation allows them to leave Wonderland, and they get to the school where the queen sees an old classmate, Cinderella.

Do you remember Brandy in the Cinderella movie from 1997 where the prince was obviously of Asian descent but his dad was white and his mom was Whoopi Goldberg? Those genetics were all over the place.

Well, Brandy is Cinderella again! And her prince, Paolo Montalban, is her Prince Charming! It's obvious their story is not quite what it was in the 1997 movie, though. Here, they say they fell in love at Castlecoming, not a ball. One thing that doesn't make sense is that we already met a Cinderella descendant in the first three movies, a total chad named Chad. No one talks about him in this movie. Was he a figment of our imaginations? Did he get disowned for being such a chad? Did they finally admit he was adopted and he ran away from home?

Either way, their daughter Chloe actually looks like she could be their daughter, and is a very nice girl who, Cinderella says, "Got straight A's last year... and the thing I'm most proud of, that you're such a good person."

Keep those grades up, though, or we'll disown you like your adopted brother, Chad

Chloe has also arrived for orientation and there's an awkward exchange between the four of them, and then a banger song that mentions there was some prank played on the Queen of Hearts (who Cinderella calls Bridget) back in high school that changed everything. Also, the queen shows Red a mirror that tells the future, and shows the two of them ruling as dictators side by side for "a million years." At another point she says they're gonna rule for centuries. Are they immortal or something? This is never explained.

Orientation begins and Principal Uma introduces herself, then says she's happy to welcome Red to the school. Red's mom seems uninterested and has been doing noisy card tricks during the presentation. Uma, who used to be a villain and a pirate captain, gets upset and says, "Excuse me? Do you mind?" and Red's mom replies, "I do, actually."

The Queen of Hearts stands up, turns and tells Red she's playing her favorite game, "War." No one moves to stop her as she declares this and then throws her pack of cards in the air. The cards then transform into soldiers. Like, people soldiers that are people-sized. Did anyone know she could do this? Does anyone know how she did this?

Well, the soldiers wreck everyone, even the pirate captain Uma, which is disappointing given she can turn into a giant half-octopus and control water to swallow bridges. Go watch the other movies, guys.

Anyway, the Queen of Hearts is now in charge and she demands everyone swear fealty to her. Cinderella refuses and the Queen asks Red to pass judgement. While Red hesitates and tries to avoid it like she did with the Jack of Spades earlier, eventually she declares, "She's guilty of treason." The queen agrees and says, "Off with her head!"

She said it! She said the thing!

 I can kind of see why Red does this. Her mom is in total control and even if she fights it, eventually her mom will sentence Cinderella with or without her. At least this way she can appear to be on her mom's side. Also, despite everything, Red really does want her mom to be proud of her and approve of her choices.

But wait, Red has a secret. She's brought the time-machine pocket watch with her!

Chloe attempts to attack the queen and Red moves to stop her and the pocket watch gets smacked, sending them back in time. They end up at what was then called Merlin Academy, when their parents are students.

After arguing for a bit, they agree to work together to save Chloe's mom and stop the Queen of Hearts. They realize that they've arrived at Merlin Academy a few days before Castlecoming, and that the watch may have sent them here to this exact time to prevent whatever mean prank caused Bridget to become evil in the first place. 

They soon meet their teenage moms. Cinderella is currently known as Ella, and is a peasant girl who isn't afraid to get her hands dirty. Bridget is a sweet, bubbly princess who loves pink and tries to make friends with everyone by making treats. And has an American accent. Chloe and Red are shocked to discover their moms are best friends.

While handing out cupcakes to the entire student body, Bridget introduces Chloe and Red (and the viewer) to the characters we need to be aware of. There's Fae, who in the future will be Fairy Godmother, Jasmine and Aladdin, who have already fallen in love and tell us to call them Jaladdin (which is a waste of a celeb couple name; they could have been Jasmaddin), and Prince Charming, who doesn't like to bring up the fact that he's a prince, but keeps doing it anyway. Red is attracted to him for two seconds before Chloe reminds him, "That's my dad." 

Oh...

Then there's the villains, who are not yet technically villains. We meet Captain Hook, Hades, Maleficent, and Morgana's son Morgie (I did extensive research on this, and according to a Disney Wiki page, Morgana Le Fay is a sorceress who studied under Merlin then turned on him. If you're familiar with Arthurian legends, you'll know Disney is just making stuff up here). And the leader of this group is Uliana, Ursula's baby sister.

Uliana steals all of Bridget's cupcakes, eats the super rare flamingo feathers off of them, and has a reaction. She turns pink and grows a long beak. While it's entirely her fault for eating too many of the magical feathers, even when Bridget tried to warn her, Uliana blames Bridget and chases after her, swearing, "I will destroy her!"

Chloe and Red think they've figured out who's going to pull a prank on Bridget now. They decide to visit Ella at home to ask where Uliana hangs out. Also, Red figures it will be a good time to find out how Uliana might prank Bridget, since Ella knows Bridget the best and so "she'll know her weaknesses and exactly how to stab her in the back."

While chatting with Ella, Chloe accidentally knocks over a vase, breaking it. She apologizes to Ella's stepmom, thinking she'll be immediately forgiven, and instead the stepmother blames Ella for letting her clumsy friends in the house, grounding her.

Well, at least one good thing came out of this exchange. They found out the Villain Kids (yes, that's what they call themselves, even though they haven't become villains yet) hang out in the Black Lagoon, so they head there next.

They're able to spy on Uliana and find out she's planning to make some cupcakes that will turn Bridget into a monster when she eats them. But first they need a special cookbook that contains the recipe. Chloe and Red decide Bridget knows all about baking so she'd probably know where such a cookbook would be. 

Bridget shows them a dance she's coming up with for Castlecoming, which looks more like a card trick and makes me think Bridget intends to make a presentation to the whole school at the dance. 

Do you even have a signature dance? Bet it doesn't involve cards.

She then tells them she doesn't have the cookbook, but it might be one of the banned books kept in Merlin's office.

At this point, Chloe suggests they tell Merlin what's going on, but Red says they should steal the book before the Villain Kids can. And this is where my real issue with this movie begins. Red complains Chloe is such a goody-goody for wanting to tell the teacher, and they get in a big fight, say some things they shouldn't say, and split up. 

First off, why is Red so against telling Merlin? Why can't they just try asking an adult for help? When my kid tells me someone is being mean at school, I say, first, tell the person to stop. If they don't, walk away from/avoid/ignore them. If they continue to bother you, then tell a teacher. After that there's other steps we can take, but after a child has done what they can to nonviolently stop a bully, their first line of defense is a trusted adult, and at school that's the teacher. I feel like that should be the lesson here, too. But it's not.

Chloe feels confused about what to do and goes to talk to her mom... or at least, her mom as a teenager. She doesn't completely explain the situation, just that someone bad is trying to get her to do something bad for a good reason. The advice Ella gives is not what I expected at all. She sings a song that is annoyingly catchy called, "Gotta Get Your Hands Dirty," where she says that, "Bad and good, shouldn't and should isn't always black and white," and that sometimes you can't afford to play the game of life clean. When Chloe says, "If you're good, good things will come to you," Ella counters, "That broken vase shows that's not true." Chloe asks where the line should be drawn, and Ella says, "There's nothing I wouldn't do if my heart tells me it's right, if it's for someone I love, if it's to save a life." Chloe realizes, this would be to save her mom, Ella's, life. So she decides to help Red steal the book.

So, moral of the story, kids: there are no universal truths. Your code of ethics can be compromised. Goodness isn't rewarded. If it feels right, do it.

Okay, okay, I'm being dramatic. It's not that I don't agree with what Ella says to a certain extent. There are shades of grey, and there are instances where you might do something you normally wouldn't agree with because of special circumstances. The thing is, though, most of those special circumstances are because the people in charge are being oppressive.

Wee, morally gray!

For example, Ella brings up Robin Hood. He stole from the rich because the system was unfair, and the only way to make it fair was to get money back to the poor through taking it. 

During the civil rights movement, people broke the law simply by choosing to sit in certain places they weren't allowed. But those laws were unjust.

There's also cases where a person might have to do something they would never consider because life has been unfair and they don't know what else to do to survive.

But, that is a very difficult thing to explain to a child. And it feels like this theme is a little mature for a kid's movie. Maybe I'm being prudish, but my own kids are still learning what right and wrong even is, so introducing this idea that sometimes there isn't a right or wrong might be confusing. This movie is rated G, so I assume it's meant for kids, but the moral of the story seems a little more grown up.

Well, as I said, Chloe decides to help Red steal this cookbook. They set off some protective spells and have to fight some flying swords, some animated armor, and an owl statue that comes to life. The second they win, Uliana and the Villain Kids walk in and take the cookbook.

Oh no!

Here's what I thought would happen next: Chloe and Red would realize that by stealing the book, they actually allowed the Villain Kids to get their hands on it. They might not have succeeded in defeating Merlin's spells, and thanks to these two, they don't have to. Red would admit that Chloe was right and they should have done things her way and gone to Merlin. The climax of the movie would be them at Castlecoming, trying to save Bridget from eating a cupcake and getting turned into a monster.

Here's what happened instead: as soon as Uliana opens the book, she and the Villain Kids are frozen. Apparently, Merlin enchanted the cookbook so it wouldn't fall into the wrong hands. Chloe tells Red to open the book, and she doesn't freeze because she's really a good person. They leave before Merlin arrives to put the Villain Kids in detention. Because of this, they won't even be allowed at Castlecoming, and Bridget won't be pranked.

Hold on, doesn't that mean that, if Chloe and Red hadn't traveled to the past, the Villain kids never would have been able to get their hands on the evil recipe in the first place? If they tried to open the book, they would freeze, and never be able to read it and so never be able to make those cupcakes to prank Bridget.

So, is it possible Bridget was never actually pranked by the Villain Kids? Perhaps someone else, someone who is a "good person" got a hold of the book and was able to open it without freezing, and then decided to turn Bridget into a monster for some other reason?

Here's what I then thought would happen next: Chloe and Red go to Castlecoming to see how things go and discover horror of horrors, the Villain Kids were never the perpetrators! It was Ella all along! I don't know why Ella would prank her best friend; maybe she felt it was the only way to help someone else. Or maybe she made the cupcakes to use on her stepmother so she could go to Castlecoming (remember she was grounded?) and Chloe accidentally got one. I don't know. But I honestly was waiting for that bombshell and for Chloe to realize her mom's thoughts on morally gray actions has led to Bridget getting her heart broken by her best friend and turning into an evil person. Wow, that would have been powerful.

Here's what happened instead: Chloe and Red return to their present (seriously, don't even go to Castlecoming), and find Red's mom is completely changed. Instead of throwing cards in the air that turn into people soldiers, she says her favorite game is "Hearts" and the cards turn into heart bubbles that float down on everyone. The queen wears pink and is so proud of her daughter for being herself. She's still got a British accent though.

So, you're telling me turning British and turning evil were two independent events?

The movie ends with a big dance party, which is how a lot of these movies end, but Uma, as narrator, forebodingly tells us, "getting what you want can be dangerous, especially when you mess with the fabric of time. You didn't think that was the end of the story, did you?"

Roll credits.

As much as I dislike the theme of this movie, and parts of it make zero sense, I am dying for the sequel. Mostly because I feel like this movie isn't complete. They don't even go to Castlecoming! I was waiting the whole movie to see how Fae would suddenly become Fairy Godmother and help Ella get to the dance, and how she and Charming would fall in love while Bridget turned into a monster. And I thought there would be some crazy twist that the Villain Kids were never the people that actually pranked her, and maybe Chloe and Red wouldn't be successful in stopping the prank and instead would have to help Bridget not turn evil by helping her see she still has friends, and they can all still party at the dance even if she has some extra appendages or whatever.

I kind of wanted to see this monster, guys.

Really, I think the writers ran out of movie before they ran out of story. They couldn't cram all of that into a 90-minute movie meant for children. So, they figured they would throw it into the sequel. But the way they did it also doesn't make sense. Maybe they should have created a cliffhanger rather than simply have Red and Chloe go back to the future and find everything is perfect. But then it wouldn't be a happy ending and that's a no-no for Disney.

For all of these reasons, I would say I dislike this movie but... the songs are pretty amazing. Like, more than they have any right to be. My daughter asks me to sing several of them to her at bedtime. Some of them are raps, too, so that's pretty tough for me to make into a lullaby. But she loves them! And, frankly, I do too. Even "Get Your Hands Dirty" gets stuck in my head. 

And the actress who plays Red has some pretty hilarious facial expressions.

And Brandy is Cinderella!

So, here's my ratings:

Kid Entertainment: 4/5

While my kid loves this show, she will also randomly declare she's done watching it partway through the movie. It took forever for me to see the whole thing beginning to end because she seems to get bored at certain parts and want to skip scenes or stop entirely. But the soundtrack is 5/5, we listen to that constantly.

My Entertainment: 3.5/5 

I like this show, and I think it's a pretty good addition to the Descendents world, but there are lots of problems that I've noted above that annoy me, particularly the ending. I don't mind when my kid asks me to turn it on, but I mumble or laugh at the parts that I think are stupid.

Content: 2.5/5 

There's some good stuff in here about being nice and some of what you see in the original Descendents. That one has a really great theme of how people can change, you can make good choices despite pressure around you, everyone deserves a second chance. But this one also adds that every choice has shades of gray, which, while true, seems a little mature for a young audience. Maybe we try teaching what right and wrong means before telling kids right and wrong aren't always what they seem. Also,  telling the teacher when you have a problem is a legitimate solution. Why did that get dismissed so quickly?

Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir

 

I had seen this show on Disney+, along with a lot of merchandise surrounding it, and had no interest in it for a while. I don't know why, it just sounded like another superhero show, but for very little audiences. One day my kid wanted to watch it and for some reason we jumped into Season 4 (probably because that was the newest season out at the time). Obviously I was very confused because there were so many things going on I didn't understand. We only got a few minutes into it before my kid asked to go back to Bluey.

So then, fast forward to a couple of months ago, we somehow started watching this again. But this time, I didn't worry so much about the back story and what I'd missed. After a few episodes, things basically fell into place. I actually became invested in the main story.

A few weeks later, my husband had also watched a few episodes, and we found ourselves talking about what happened in the episodes the other person had missed. "Guess what? So-and-So found out Ladybug's secret identity!" "You missed it, Shadow Moth took over the city!" "Marinette was almost akumatized!" 

So, I guess we're into it.

Let me try to explain what on the surface seems to be a simple superhero show, but is actually rather layered and complex. Again, I haven't seen the first three seasons, so there might be spoilers for those if you're planning to watch from the beginning.

First off, there's Marinette, aka Ladybug. She has this thing called a Miraculous which gives her her powers. Also, the Miraculous is, like, tied to a very small creature called a Kwami that actually gives her her powers. Marinette's Miraculous's Kwami is named Tikki. To become Ladybug, Marinette says, "Tikki, spots on!" and Tikki jumps into the Miraculous (which is an earring Marinette wears) and she transforms.

Now, Tikki is not the only Kwami. A wiki article tells me there are actually 36 known Miraculouses, and 19 of them are in Paris, France, where the show takes place. For a time in Season 4, Marinette was the Keeper of the Miraculous and had a big box full of them, and all the Kwamis lived in a doll house in her bedroom. They all have different powers and personalities which are vaguely related to the animals they look like.  

One of the Miraculous is held by Adrien Agreste. His Kwami is a black cat named... Plagg. A lot of the Kwamis have weird names (honestly, some of the humans have weird names. Is Marinette a normal name in France?), but I think Plagg's is the strangest. Also, Plagg loves cheese. For the longest time I thought he was a mouse because what cat loves cheese? But apparently it has something to do with the fact that the Kwamis need to recharge after their powers are used and so they have to be fed. Plagg's favorite food just happens to be something in abundance in France: fancy cheeses.

Anyway, when Adrien uses Plagg to transform, he becomes Cat Noir, which I'm sure is even funnier in French because there's a famous painting about a black cat.

Ladybug and Cat Noir work together to save the city because their powers are actually opposite but complimentary. Her Miraculous is that of creation, while his is the Miraculous of destruction. I'll get into how they do this in a bit.

Now here's where things get interesting: in real life, Marinette has a crush on Adrien. But Adrien, as Cat Noir, has a crush on Ladybug.

It's a love square.

They don't know the other person's identity. I feel like it is reiterated every episode by Marinette that it would be very bad if either hero found out the other's secret identity, because then if the bad guy caught either of them, he could force them to reveal the other hero's identity, and then there would be no one left to stop him. 

The bad guy, whose name apparently changes as he acquires new powers, but always has to do with Moth, I think is originally known as Hawk Moth. His main deal is that he can sense when people feel particularly strong negative emotions, and he then turns these white butterflies into black moths which fly to the person, infect some object of theirs, and then Hawk Moth talks to them telepathically. He says, "I'll give you ___ if you get me Ladybug and Cat Noir's miraculous," and the person agrees and then Hawk Moth akumatizes that person, which essentially turns them into a bad guy with powers related to the reason they were upset.

Here's the interesting thing about Hawk Moth: he is Adrien's real life dad.

Gabriel Agreste, as he is known, doesn't realize his son is one of his arch rivals, and neither does Adrien. As Gabriel, he's not a great father. He pushes Adrien to be a model, and is often cold toward him. But I feel like deep down, he cares about his son. There's an episode where for two seconds, he learns the truth about Cat Noir's identity, before his memory is erased, but for those couple of seconds he looks devastated. I often wonder if things would actually turn out okay if everyone revealed who they are.

Here's the other thing about Hawk Moth/Gabriel: his motives are not really that bad. I would have to go back and see the first few seasons to really understand, I think, but something happened to Adrien's mom, and she is in some kind of coma or suspended animation. Gabriel visits her glass coffin thingy often. And the main reason he wants Ladybug and Cat Noir's miraculous, along with the others, is that he wants to make a wish to restore her. Apparently that's something you can do when you hold all of the miraculous.

So basically, what we have here is a show about a bunch of people who if they knew the truth about one another could actually probably get things worked out cordially. Like, if Cat Noir knew his dad was Hawk Moth and only wanted the miraculous to save his mom, he and Ladybug would probably be okay with letting him do that, or maybe helping him find another way if that's somehow bad. And if Ladybug and Cat Noir knew each other's identities, they would know that they are actually in love with the other person and the love square would collapse. Now, would that lead to problems with Hawk Moth finding out their identities? Maybe. But, then, if he knew his own son was Cat Noir he might talk to him about his own motivations.

Well, I'm now five seasons in, and that hasn't happened, so I'm guessing we'll have to wait for the series finale to find out if my hypothetical situation ever occurs.

There are lots of other characters in the show. Most of them are Marinette's friends, but one of them is a bully. Her name is Chloe, and she's your classic rich, popular girl, complete with a spineless lackey, Sabrina.

Chloe is the real villain of the show. Her motivations are completely self-serving. She is constantly making life difficult for Marinette, makes fun of her because she's the daughter of two bakers (Chloe is the mayor's daughter) and even actively seeks out becoming akumatized in several episodes so she can enact revenge when she doesn't get her way.

In the first several seasons, Chloe and Adrien are apparently friends for some reason. She must do a better job of hiding her selfishness because Adrien is a nice guy and I can't figure out why he would want to hang out with a mean person. By the fourth season he's amiable with her but also seems shocked when she's rude and berates her for it.

I won't talk too much about Marinette's friends, but they have their own stories going on that sometimes leads to them having strong emotions and becoming akumatized. I think the writers of the show also do a really good job of not making stereotypes out of any of them. Like, a lot of shows will make the chubby girl in the friend group also obsessed with food. Here, she is an activist who is also very shy. Her weight is simply a part of her appearance. It has nothing to do with her personality. Also, Marinette's best friend has a mole on her forehead. For a cartoon, that would be really easy to not add, so someone very obviously made a point of putting that in there. I think it's awesome that they show a positive role model for girls that maybe have a feature that they don't love, and see that you are beautiful with that feature.

Honestly, with all the characters, their stories, the intrigue of the love square and Adrien's father doing mysterious things all the time, the superhero portion of each episode is probably the least interesting part. But I'll tell you a little bit about it.

So, after someone gets akumatized, they begin wreaking havoc on Paris. Everyone knows that akumatization is a thing, that Hawk Moth is behind it, and that Ladybug and Cat Noir are the local superheroes. You would think they would work a little harder to not have strong negative emotions, right? I could see Paris being a sort of dystopia where everyone walks around chanting, "Happy thoughts, happy thoughts," like that episode of The Twilight Zone.

Anyway, Ladybug and Cat Noir always have their little transformation scenes and then spend a little time fighting the bad guy of the day before remembering that Ladybug has a very important power, which is to shout, "Lucky Charm!" and some random object appears in her hands. I guess this is the miraculous of creation in effect? She then looks around and things turn red with black polka dots. I can't tell if this is her figuring out how to use the item, or if this is an aspect of her power showing her what to do. Anyway, she then uses the random object and it trips up the bad guy long enough for Cat Noir to use his power, Cataclysm (I literally just got the cat pun there). Cataclysm destroys anything Cat Noir touches, and he usually uses this on the item that is infected with Hawk Moth's magic moth. The moth is released, and Ladybug catches it in her yo-yo, Ladybug says, "No more evil doing for you, little akuma," the black moth turns back into a white butterfly, and as it flies away Ladybug says, "Bye bye little butterfly." And then Ladybug says, "Miraculous Ladybug!" and tosses the lucky charmed object in the air which, miraculously, puts all the destroyed things in Paris back to normal. The akumatized person also changes back to normal and usually (unless they're Chloe) feels bad about what they did.

Did you follow all that? If not, don't worry, it happens every single episode so you'll catch on fairly quickly.

The repetition in the superhero portion of the show is why it gets a little annoying for me. Sometimes it affects the main story, but often it doesn't really matter. I just want to get back to the very slow progression of the overarching story of Marinette and Adrien.

And there is some progression. Little things change from episode to episode and that's what keeps me hooked. But I will admit that I get a little impatient waiting for them to get together. Which is a problem, because the love square is sort of the premise for the whole show. So I find myself kind of begging for the end of the whole show so my dreams will finally come true. The good news is, some things have started happening in SEASON 5 on that front, so if you can hang on that long you will be rewarded.

Maybe just skip to Season 4 accidentally?

My ratings:

Kid Entertainment: 3.5

She likes this show and does ask for it, but it's sadly lower on the list than I wish it was. I'm always hopeful when I ask what she wants to watch that it will be Miraculous Ladybug, and I'm often disappointed. It seems she only wants to watch when I'm getting in the shower, which means I miss stuff.

My Entertainment: 4.5*

I put an asterisk because, while I really like this show and am already considering watching it by myself to catch up on some of the episodes I've missed, all of my frustrations above are still true. The overall pacing of the story is slow, and I think I'm on the last season and things are only now coming to a head on the romance front. And the repetition in the superhero sequences gets a little annoying. So, I love it, but there's fine print.

Content: 4

As I said, there's some wonderful role models in all shapes and sizes in this show, which I think is particularly important for little girls. There's also a lot of good things about friendship and right and wrong, and after people get akumatized there's a moral lesson. Maybe one problem is whether the show teaches to keep secrets or lie because Marinette hides her identity. But, you know, it is a superhero show. It kind of comes with the territory.