Descendants: The Rise of Red

 

The movie of the month at our house is Descendants: The Rise of Red. My daughter has been Elsa for Halloween every year since she was two years old, and this year she wants to be Red. So, there's gotta be something to this movie.

It took a while for me to actually see the whole thing beginning to end, because my daughter kept wanting to replay different scenes (particularly certain songs) when she watched it. So it wasn't until recently that I totally understood the plot.

And, quite honestly, it still doesn't make sense.

Normally I try to avoid spoilers, but today I'm going to spoil some stuff because I have to talk about every aspect of this movie. 

If you're not familiar with the Descendants movies, this will make even less sense than normal, but the basic premise of Descendants is that all the villains from all the fairy tales (really, from every animated Disney movie) were sent to this Isle of the Lost. Something like twenty years later, the son of Belle and Beast, heir to the throne of Auradon (which is basically all the kingdoms of said fairy tales united together under one main kingdom), decides the children of the banished villains should get a chance to come to Auradon Prep and learn to be good. After all, they haven't committed the crimes of their parents and should get a chance to live as all the heroes and their kids do and prove they aren't bad.

Descendants: The Rise of Red is the fourth movie in the series, and introduces all new characters. Uma, the daughter of Ursula, has become the new principal of Auradon Prep and declares as her first action that she's inviting Princess Red, daughter of the Queen of Hearts of Wonderland, to the school.

For whatever reason, the Queen of Hearts wasn't sent to the Isle of the Lost like the other villains. Instead, Wonderland was closed off from the rest of Auradon, made into its own sort of prison. It's sad because really only the Queen is bad. I mean, there's lots of crazies in Wonderland but I wouldn't call many of them actual villains, yet they're stuck with this evil queen and don't get to be a part of the united kingdoms of Auradon.

The one person that fights back against the queen's tyranny is her daughter, Red. Except, the only scene we get of her rebelling is the song "Red." 

In this song, Red proclaims she's "on a path of destruction" and proceeds to throw a paint-filled balloon at a picture of her mother, then breaks a bunch of vases and cuts up some red rose bushes. The guards chase after her, and she evades them by throwing heart-shaped fireworks at them. Besides vandalism and breaking the queen's curfew law, I'm not really sure how well Red is "fighting" her mother's tyranny.

Anyway, Red escapes the guards thanks to her friend and tutor, Maddox Hatter. All of the descendants in these movies have names that relate to their parents in some way, but I think Maddox Hatter is my favorite name joke in these movies. After rescuing her, Maddox reveals a special pocket watch that can transport you to the past, but he warns you shouldn't mess with time because it can have unintended consequences. Red steals the watch while hugging him.

The next day we see a little more of Red rebelling against her mother when she avoids sentencing the Jack of Spades to be executed, which in my opinion is way better way to resist evil than dumb vandalism. The queen disapproves of everything Red does, it seems, and keeps trying to turn her to the dark side. Also, she has a British accent while Red has an American one, so they probably disagree on what to call fried potatoes, as well.

Anyway, they receive an invitation for Red to attend Auradon Prep, and the queen surprisingly accepts. The invitation allows them to leave Wonderland, and they get to the school where the queen sees an old classmate, Cinderella.

Do you remember Brandy in the Cinderella movie from 1997 where the prince was obviously of Asian descent but his dad was white and his mom was Whoopi Goldberg? Those genetics were all over the place.

Well, Brandy is Cinderella again! And her prince, Paolo Montalban, is her Prince Charming! It's obvious their story is not quite what it was in the 1997 movie, though. Here, they say they fell in love at Castlecoming, not a ball. One thing that doesn't make sense is that we already met a Cinderella descendant in the first three movies, a total chad named Chad. No one talks about him in this movie. Was he a figment of our imaginations? Did he get disowned for being such a chad? Did they finally admit he was adopted and he ran away from home?

Either way, their daughter Chloe actually looks like she could be their daughter, and is a very nice girl who, Cinderella says, "Got straight A's last year... and the thing I'm most proud of, that you're such a good person."

Keep those grades up, though, or we'll disown you like your adopted brother, Chad

Chloe has also arrived for orientation and there's an awkward exchange between the four of them, and then a banger song that mentions there was some prank played on the Queen of Hearts (who Cinderella calls Bridget) back in high school that changed everything. Also, the queen shows Red a mirror that tells the future, and shows the two of them ruling as dictators side by side for "a million years." At another point she says they're gonna rule for centuries. Are they immortal or something? This is never explained.

Orientation begins and Principal Uma introduces herself, then says she's happy to welcome Red to the school. Red's mom seems uninterested and has been doing noisy card tricks during the presentation. Uma, who used to be a villain and a pirate captain, gets upset and says, "Excuse me? Do you mind?" and Red's mom replies, "I do, actually."

The Queen of Hearts stands up, turns and tells Red she's playing her favorite game, "War." No one moves to stop her as she declares this and then throws her pack of cards in the air. The cards then transform into soldiers. Like, people soldiers that are people-sized. Did anyone know she could do this? Does anyone know how she did this?

Well, the soldiers wreck everyone, even the pirate captain Uma, which is disappointing given she can turn into a giant half-octopus and control water to swallow bridges. Go watch the other movies, guys.

Anyway, the Queen of Hearts is now in charge and she demands everyone swear fealty to her. Cinderella refuses and the Queen asks Red to pass judgement. While Red hesitates and tries to avoid it like she did with the Jack of Spades earlier, eventually she declares, "She's guilty of treason." The queen agrees and says, "Off with her head!"

She said it! She said the thing!

 I can kind of see why Red does this. Her mom is in total control and even if she fights it, eventually her mom will sentence Cinderella with or without her. At least this way she can appear to be on her mom's side. Also, despite everything, Red really does want her mom to be proud of her and approve of her choices.

But wait, Red has a secret. She's brought the time-machine pocket watch with her!

Chloe attempts to attack the queen and Red moves to stop her and the pocket watch gets smacked, sending them back in time. They end up at what was then called Merlin Academy, when their parents are students.

After arguing for a bit, they agree to work together to save Chloe's mom and stop the Queen of Hearts. They realize that they've arrived at Merlin Academy a few days before Castlecoming, and that the watch may have sent them here to this exact time to prevent whatever mean prank caused Bridget to become evil in the first place. 

They soon meet their teenage moms. Cinderella is currently known as Ella, and is a peasant girl who isn't afraid to get her hands dirty. Bridget is a sweet, bubbly princess who loves pink and tries to make friends with everyone by making treats. And has an American accent. Chloe and Red are shocked to discover their moms are best friends.

While handing out cupcakes to the entire student body, Bridget introduces Chloe and Red (and the viewer) to the characters we need to be aware of. There's Fae, who in the future will be Fairy Godmother, Jasmine and Aladdin, who have already fallen in love and tell us to call them Jaladdin (which is a waste of a celeb couple name; they could have been Jasmaddin), and Prince Charming, who doesn't like to bring up the fact that he's a prince, but keeps doing it anyway. Red is attracted to him for two seconds before Chloe reminds him, "That's my dad." 

Oh...

Then there's the villains, who are not yet technically villains. We meet Captain Hook, Hades, Maleficent, and Morgana's son Morgie (I did extensive research on this, and according to a Disney Wiki page, Morgana Le Fay is a sorceress who studied under Merlin then turned on him. If you're familiar with Arthurian legends, you'll know Disney is just making stuff up here). And the leader of this group is Uliana, Ursula's baby sister.

Uliana steals all of Bridget's cupcakes, eats the super rare flamingo feathers off of them, and has a reaction. She turns pink and grows a long beak. While it's entirely her fault for eating too many of the magical feathers, even when Bridget tried to warn her, Uliana blames Bridget and chases after her, swearing, "I will destroy her!"

Chloe and Red think they've figured out who's going to pull a prank on Bridget now. They decide to visit Ella at home to ask where Uliana hangs out. Also, Red figures it will be a good time to find out how Uliana might prank Bridget, since Ella knows Bridget the best and so "she'll know her weaknesses and exactly how to stab her in the back."

While chatting with Ella, Chloe accidentally knocks over a vase, breaking it. She apologizes to Ella's stepmom, thinking she'll be immediately forgiven, and instead the stepmother blames Ella for letting her clumsy friends in the house, grounding her.

Well, at least one good thing came out of this exchange. They found out the Villain Kids (yes, that's what they call themselves, even though they haven't become villains yet) hang out in the Black Lagoon, so they head there next.

They're able to spy on Uliana and find out she's planning to make some cupcakes that will turn Bridget into a monster when she eats them. But first they need a special cookbook that contains the recipe. Chloe and Red decide Bridget knows all about baking so she'd probably know where such a cookbook would be. 

Bridget shows them a dance she's coming up with for Castlecoming, which looks more like a card trick and makes me think Bridget intends to make a presentation to the whole school at the dance. 

Do you even have a signature dance? Bet it doesn't involve cards.

She then tells them she doesn't have the cookbook, but it might be one of the banned books kept in Merlin's office.

At this point, Chloe suggests they tell Merlin what's going on, but Red says they should steal the book before the Villain Kids can. And this is where my real issue with this movie begins. Red complains Chloe is such a goody-goody for wanting to tell the teacher, and they get in a big fight, say some things they shouldn't say, and split up. 

First off, why is Red so against telling Merlin? Why can't they just try asking an adult for help? When my kid tells me someone is being mean at school, I say, first, tell the person to stop. If they don't, walk away from/avoid/ignore them. If they continue to bother you, then tell a teacher. After that there's other steps we can take, but after a child has done what they can to nonviolently stop a bully, their first line of defense is a trusted adult, and at school that's the teacher. I feel like that should be the lesson here, too. But it's not.

Chloe feels confused about what to do and goes to talk to her mom... or at least, her mom as a teenager. She doesn't completely explain the situation, just that someone bad is trying to get her to do something bad for a good reason. The advice Ella gives is not what I expected at all. She sings a song that is annoyingly catchy called, "Gotta Get Your Hands Dirty," where she says that, "Bad and good, shouldn't and should isn't always black and white," and that sometimes you can't afford to play the game of life clean. When Chloe says, "If you're good, good things will come to you," Ella counters, "That broken vase shows that's not true." Chloe asks where the line should be drawn, and Ella says, "There's nothing I wouldn't do if my heart tells me it's right, if it's for someone I love, if it's to save a life." Chloe realizes, this would be to save her mom, Ella's, life. So she decides to help Red steal the book.

So, moral of the story, kids: there are no universal truths. Your code of ethics can be compromised. Goodness isn't rewarded. If it feels right, do it.

Okay, okay, I'm being dramatic. It's not that I don't agree with what Ella says to a certain extent. There are shades of grey, and there are instances where you might do something you normally wouldn't agree with because of special circumstances. The thing is, though, most of those special circumstances are because the people in charge are being oppressive.

Wee, morally gray!

For example, Ella brings up Robin Hood. He stole from the rich because the system was unfair, and the only way to make it fair was to get money back to the poor through taking it. 

During the civil rights movement, people broke the law simply by choosing to sit in certain places they weren't allowed. But those laws were unjust.

There's also cases where a person might have to do something they would never consider because life has been unfair and they don't know what else to do to survive.

But, that is a very difficult thing to explain to a child. And it feels like this theme is a little mature for a kid's movie. Maybe I'm being prudish, but my own kids are still learning what right and wrong even is, so introducing this idea that sometimes there isn't a right or wrong might be confusing. This movie is rated G, so I assume it's meant for kids, but the moral of the story seems a little more grown up.

Well, as I said, Chloe decides to help Red steal this cookbook. They set off some protective spells and have to fight some flying swords, some animated armor, and an owl statue that comes to life. The second they win, Uliana and the Villain Kids walk in and take the cookbook.

Oh no!

Here's what I thought would happen next: Chloe and Red would realize that by stealing the book, they actually allowed the Villain Kids to get their hands on it. They might not have succeeded in defeating Merlin's spells, and thanks to these two, they don't have to. Red would admit that Chloe was right and they should have done things her way and gone to Merlin. The climax of the movie would be them at Castlecoming, trying to save Bridget from eating a cupcake and getting turned into a monster.

Here's what happened instead: as soon as Uliana opens the book, she and the Villain Kids are frozen. Apparently, Merlin enchanted the cookbook so it wouldn't fall into the wrong hands. Chloe tells Red to open the book, and she doesn't freeze because she's really a good person. They leave before Merlin arrives to put the Villain Kids in detention. Because of this, they won't even be allowed at Castlecoming, and Bridget won't be pranked.

Hold on, doesn't that mean that, if Chloe and Red hadn't traveled to the past, the Villain kids never would have been able to get their hands on the evil recipe in the first place? If they tried to open the book, they would freeze, and never be able to read it and so never be able to make those cupcakes to prank Bridget.

So, is it possible Bridget was never actually pranked by the Villain Kids? Perhaps someone else, someone who is a "good person" got a hold of the book and was able to open it without freezing, and then decided to turn Bridget into a monster for some other reason?

Here's what I then thought would happen next: Chloe and Red go to Castlecoming to see how things go and discover horror of horrors, the Villain Kids were never the perpetrators! It was Ella all along! I don't know why Ella would prank her best friend; maybe she felt it was the only way to help someone else. Or maybe she made the cupcakes to use on her stepmother so she could go to Castlecoming (remember she was grounded?) and Chloe accidentally got one. I don't know. But I honestly was waiting for that bombshell and for Chloe to realize her mom's thoughts on morally gray actions has led to Bridget getting her heart broken by her best friend and turning into an evil person. Wow, that would have been powerful.

Here's what happened instead: Chloe and Red return to their present (seriously, don't even go to Castlecoming), and find Red's mom is completely changed. Instead of throwing cards in the air that turn into people soldiers, she says her favorite game is "Hearts" and the cards turn into heart bubbles that float down on everyone. The queen wears pink and is so proud of her daughter for being herself. She's still got a British accent though.

So, you're telling me turning British and turning evil were two independent events?

The movie ends with a big dance party, which is how a lot of these movies end, but Uma, as narrator, forebodingly tells us, "getting what you want can be dangerous, especially when you mess with the fabric of time. You didn't think that was the end of the story, did you?"

Roll credits.

As much as I dislike the theme of this movie, and parts of it make zero sense, I am dying for the sequel. Mostly because I feel like this movie isn't complete. They don't even go to Castlecoming! I was waiting the whole movie to see how Fae would suddenly become Fairy Godmother and help Ella get to the dance, and how she and Charming would fall in love while Bridget turned into a monster. And I thought there would be some crazy twist that the Villain Kids were never the people that actually pranked her, and maybe Chloe and Red wouldn't be successful in stopping the prank and instead would have to help Bridget not turn evil by helping her see she still has friends, and they can all still party at the dance even if she has some extra appendages or whatever.

I kind of wanted to see this monster, guys.

Really, I think the writers ran out of movie before they ran out of story. They couldn't cram all of that into a 90-minute movie meant for children. So, they figured they would throw it into the sequel. But the way they did it also doesn't make sense. Maybe they should have created a cliffhanger rather than simply have Red and Chloe go back to the future and find everything is perfect. But then it wouldn't be a happy ending and that's a no-no for Disney.

For all of these reasons, I would say I dislike this movie but... the songs are pretty amazing. Like, more than they have any right to be. My daughter asks me to sing several of them to her at bedtime. Some of them are raps, too, so that's pretty tough for me to make into a lullaby. But she loves them! And, frankly, I do too. Even "Get Your Hands Dirty" gets stuck in my head. 

And the actress who plays Red has some pretty hilarious facial expressions.

And Brandy is Cinderella!

So, here's my ratings:

Kid Entertainment: 4/5

While my kid loves this show, she will also randomly declare she's done watching it partway through the movie. It took forever for me to see the whole thing beginning to end because she seems to get bored at certain parts and want to skip scenes or stop entirely. But the soundtrack is 5/5, we listen to that constantly.

My Entertainment: 3.5/5 

I like this show, and I think it's a pretty good addition to the Descendents world, but there are lots of problems that I've noted above that annoy me, particularly the ending. I don't mind when my kid asks me to turn it on, but I mumble or laugh at the parts that I think are stupid.

Content: 2.5/5 

There's some good stuff in here about being nice and some of what you see in the original Descendents. That one has a really great theme of how people can change, you can make good choices despite pressure around you, everyone deserves a second chance. But this one also adds that every choice has shades of gray, which, while true, seems a little mature for a young audience. Maybe we try teaching what right and wrong means before telling kids right and wrong aren't always what they seem. Also,  telling the teacher when you have a problem is a legitimate solution. Why did that get dismissed so quickly?

Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir

 

I had seen this show on Disney+, along with a lot of merchandise surrounding it, and had no interest in it for a while. I don't know why, it just sounded like another superhero show, but for very little audiences. One day my kid wanted to watch it and for some reason we jumped into Season 4 (probably because that was the newest season out at the time). Obviously I was very confused because there were so many things going on I didn't understand. We only got a few minutes into it before my kid asked to go back to Bluey.

So then, fast forward to a couple of months ago, we somehow started watching this again. But this time, I didn't worry so much about the back story and what I'd missed. After a few episodes, things basically fell into place. I actually became invested in the main story.

A few weeks later, my husband had also watched a few episodes, and we found ourselves talking about what happened in the episodes the other person had missed. "Guess what? So-and-So found out Ladybug's secret identity!" "You missed it, Shadow Moth took over the city!" "Marinette was almost akumatized!" 

So, I guess we're into it.

Let me try to explain what on the surface seems to be a simple superhero show, but is actually rather layered and complex. Again, I haven't seen the first three seasons, so there might be spoilers for those if you're planning to watch from the beginning.

First off, there's Marinette, aka Ladybug. She has this thing called a Miraculous which gives her her powers. Also, the Miraculous is, like, tied to a very small creature called a Kwami that actually gives her her powers. Marinette's Miraculous's Kwami is named Tikki. To become Ladybug, Marinette says, "Tikki, spots on!" and Tikki jumps into the Miraculous (which is an earring Marinette wears) and she transforms.

Now, Tikki is not the only Kwami. A wiki article tells me there are actually 36 known Miraculouses, and 19 of them are in Paris, France, where the show takes place. For a time in Season 4, Marinette was the Keeper of the Miraculous and had a big box full of them, and all the Kwamis lived in a doll house in her bedroom. They all have different powers and personalities which are vaguely related to the animals they look like.  

One of the Miraculous is held by Adrien Agreste. His Kwami is a black cat named... Plagg. A lot of the Kwamis have weird names (honestly, some of the humans have weird names. Is Marinette a normal name in France?), but I think Plagg's is the strangest. Also, Plagg loves cheese. For the longest time I thought he was a mouse because what cat loves cheese? But apparently it has something to do with the fact that the Kwamis need to recharge after their powers are used and so they have to be fed. Plagg's favorite food just happens to be something in abundance in France: fancy cheeses.

Anyway, when Adrien uses Plagg to transform, he becomes Cat Noir, which I'm sure is even funnier in French because there's a famous painting about a black cat.

Ladybug and Cat Noir work together to save the city because their powers are actually opposite but complimentary. Her Miraculous is that of creation, while his is the Miraculous of destruction. I'll get into how they do this in a bit.

Now here's where things get interesting: in real life, Marinette has a crush on Adrien. But Adrien, as Cat Noir, has a crush on Ladybug.

It's a love square.

They don't know the other person's identity. I feel like it is reiterated every episode by Marinette that it would be very bad if either hero found out the other's secret identity, because then if the bad guy caught either of them, he could force them to reveal the other hero's identity, and then there would be no one left to stop him. 

The bad guy, whose name apparently changes as he acquires new powers, but always has to do with Moth, I think is originally known as Hawk Moth. His main deal is that he can sense when people feel particularly strong negative emotions, and he then turns these white butterflies into black moths which fly to the person, infect some object of theirs, and then Hawk Moth talks to them telepathically. He says, "I'll give you ___ if you get me Ladybug and Cat Noir's miraculous," and the person agrees and then Hawk Moth akumatizes that person, which essentially turns them into a bad guy with powers related to the reason they were upset.

Here's the interesting thing about Hawk Moth: he is Adrien's real life dad.

Gabriel Agreste, as he is known, doesn't realize his son is one of his arch rivals, and neither does Adrien. As Gabriel, he's not a great father. He pushes Adrien to be a model, and is often cold toward him. But I feel like deep down, he cares about his son. There's an episode where for two seconds, he learns the truth about Cat Noir's identity, before his memory is erased, but for those couple of seconds he looks devastated. I often wonder if things would actually turn out okay if everyone revealed who they are.

Here's the other thing about Hawk Moth/Gabriel: his motives are not really that bad. I would have to go back and see the first few seasons to really understand, I think, but something happened to Adrien's mom, and she is in some kind of coma or suspended animation. Gabriel visits her glass coffin thingy often. And the main reason he wants Ladybug and Cat Noir's miraculous, along with the others, is that he wants to make a wish to restore her. Apparently that's something you can do when you hold all of the miraculous.

So basically, what we have here is a show about a bunch of people who if they knew the truth about one another could actually probably get things worked out cordially. Like, if Cat Noir knew his dad was Hawk Moth and only wanted the miraculous to save his mom, he and Ladybug would probably be okay with letting him do that, or maybe helping him find another way if that's somehow bad. And if Ladybug and Cat Noir knew each other's identities, they would know that they are actually in love with the other person and the love square would collapse. Now, would that lead to problems with Hawk Moth finding out their identities? Maybe. But, then, if he knew his own son was Cat Noir he might talk to him about his own motivations.

Well, I'm now five seasons in, and that hasn't happened, so I'm guessing we'll have to wait for the series finale to find out if my hypothetical situation ever occurs.

There are lots of other characters in the show. Most of them are Marinette's friends, but one of them is a bully. Her name is Chloe, and she's your classic rich, popular girl, complete with a spineless lackey, Sabrina.

Chloe is the real villain of the show. Her motivations are completely self-serving. She is constantly making life difficult for Marinette, makes fun of her because she's the daughter of two bakers (Chloe is the mayor's daughter) and even actively seeks out becoming akumatized in several episodes so she can enact revenge when she doesn't get her way.

In the first several seasons, Chloe and Adrien are apparently friends for some reason. She must do a better job of hiding her selfishness because Adrien is a nice guy and I can't figure out why he would want to hang out with a mean person. By the fourth season he's amiable with her but also seems shocked when she's rude and berates her for it.

I won't talk too much about Marinette's friends, but they have their own stories going on that sometimes leads to them having strong emotions and becoming akumatized. I think the writers of the show also do a really good job of not making stereotypes out of any of them. Like, a lot of shows will make the chubby girl in the friend group also obsessed with food. Here, she is an activist who is also very shy. Her weight is simply a part of her appearance. It has nothing to do with her personality. Also, Marinette's best friend has a mole on her forehead. For a cartoon, that would be really easy to not add, so someone very obviously made a point of putting that in there. I think it's awesome that they show a positive role model for girls that maybe have a feature that they don't love, and see that you are beautiful with that feature.

Honestly, with all the characters, their stories, the intrigue of the love square and Adrien's father doing mysterious things all the time, the superhero portion of each episode is probably the least interesting part. But I'll tell you a little bit about it.

So, after someone gets akumatized, they begin wreaking havoc on Paris. Everyone knows that akumatization is a thing, that Hawk Moth is behind it, and that Ladybug and Cat Noir are the local superheroes. You would think they would work a little harder to not have strong negative emotions, right? I could see Paris being a sort of dystopia where everyone walks around chanting, "Happy thoughts, happy thoughts," like that episode of The Twilight Zone.

Anyway, Ladybug and Cat Noir always have their little transformation scenes and then spend a little time fighting the bad guy of the day before remembering that Ladybug has a very important power, which is to shout, "Lucky Charm!" and some random object appears in her hands. I guess this is the miraculous of creation in effect? She then looks around and things turn red with black polka dots. I can't tell if this is her figuring out how to use the item, or if this is an aspect of her power showing her what to do. Anyway, she then uses the random object and it trips up the bad guy long enough for Cat Noir to use his power, Cataclysm (I literally just got the cat pun there). Cataclysm destroys anything Cat Noir touches, and he usually uses this on the item that is infected with Hawk Moth's magic moth. The moth is released, and Ladybug catches it in her yo-yo, Ladybug says, "No more evil doing for you, little akuma," the black moth turns back into a white butterfly, and as it flies away Ladybug says, "Bye bye little butterfly." And then Ladybug says, "Miraculous Ladybug!" and tosses the lucky charmed object in the air which, miraculously, puts all the destroyed things in Paris back to normal. The akumatized person also changes back to normal and usually (unless they're Chloe) feels bad about what they did.

Did you follow all that? If not, don't worry, it happens every single episode so you'll catch on fairly quickly.

The repetition in the superhero portion of the show is why it gets a little annoying for me. Sometimes it affects the main story, but often it doesn't really matter. I just want to get back to the very slow progression of the overarching story of Marinette and Adrien.

And there is some progression. Little things change from episode to episode and that's what keeps me hooked. But I will admit that I get a little impatient waiting for them to get together. Which is a problem, because the love square is sort of the premise for the whole show. So I find myself kind of begging for the end of the whole show so my dreams will finally come true. The good news is, some things have started happening in SEASON 5 on that front, so if you can hang on that long you will be rewarded.

Maybe just skip to Season 4 accidentally?

My ratings:

Kid Entertainment: 3.5

She likes this show and does ask for it, but it's sadly lower on the list than I wish it was. I'm always hopeful when I ask what she wants to watch that it will be Miraculous Ladybug, and I'm often disappointed. It seems she only wants to watch when I'm getting in the shower, which means I miss stuff.

My Entertainment: 4.5*

I put an asterisk because, while I really like this show and am already considering watching it by myself to catch up on some of the episodes I've missed, all of my frustrations above are still true. The overall pacing of the story is slow, and I think I'm on the last season and things are only now coming to a head on the romance front. And the repetition in the superhero sequences gets a little annoying. So, I love it, but there's fine print.

Content: 4

As I said, there's some wonderful role models in all shapes and sizes in this show, which I think is particularly important for little girls. There's also a lot of good things about friendship and right and wrong, and after people get akumatized there's a moral lesson. Maybe one problem is whether the show teaches to keep secrets or lie because Marinette hides her identity. But, you know, it is a superhero show. It kind of comes with the territory.

The Batman (2004)

 A few months ago, I was browsing Netflix to find something to watch while nursing my baby. I found The Batman.

Now, I know what you're thinking, and no it's not that one.

I mean the TV show.

No, not that one either.

I mean this one: 

This show ran from 2004-2008, although each of the five seasons only had 13 episodes. It's not exactly the classic Batman: The Animated Series (BTAM) most people from my generation know and love, but I remembered enjoying it in my teen years (no, I never grew out of cartoons or Batman) and I'm one of those people who likes to watch old shows I'm familiar with, so I made it my nursing time entertainment.

Then my pre-schooler started coming in to hang out while I fed the baby, and was interested in the show I was watching. Because she sees cartoons and immediately thinks it's for her. She would get mad if she found that I'd been watching it without her.

Eventually what was meant to be just for Mommy became the show we watched as a family. That died pretty quickly, though, when she started closing her eyes and begging us to skip parts because it was too scary.

We decided the whole show was too scary, moved onto something else for our family time episode, and by then I had moved onto something else for my nursing time entertainment, so I haven't picked it up again myself.

You're telling me, Bruce

But, I still want to talk about this show, because I feel like it introduced some new things to the Batman universe and it deserves some love.

When the show first came out back in 2004, I remember the ads were all about how this version of Batman was going to be different. They showed off the new Joker, who instead of wearing a purple suit wore a purple and brown straight jacket.

Woah! So different! So edgy! But after a few appearances, he ended up looking like this:

I guess his hair is still different from Mark Hamill's Joker?

I mean, they've even got the same boutonniere

Okay, so Joker wasn't that different, but how about Penguin?

Sure, he still has the top hat and suit of previous penguins (after all, he is Penguin), but this penguin controls birds, and has these two creepy sidekicks that he says he picked up in "the Orient."

The Kabuki Twins

If you're thinking, what do these stick-figure Wolverine ladies have to do with Penguins... I wonder that, too. 

Next up is Mr. Freeze.

Sadly, this version of Freeze is not nearly as complex as the one in BTAM. He's not a scientist trying to find a way to save his wife. He's a thief who blames Batman for making him into a frozen freak because, while fighting with Batman, he ends up falling into a broken cryonic chamber and gets frozen and electrocuted at the same time. Batman actually questions whether he's really helping people after learning that he caused Freeze to become what he is, but eventually realizes the Batman is needed and it is really dumb to blame yourself for someone else being an idiot.

We also see Catwoman, whose costume is a little different, but she's essentially the same altruistic thief we're familiar with. She and Batman kind of have a thing in this version, too.

There's also the Riddler, Firefly, Bane, Poison Ivy, Man-Bat, Black Skull, Killer Croc, Hugo Strange, Clayface, Harley Quin, and pretty much all the bad guys you're familiar with if you've played the Batman: Arkham games (except Zsasz. I don't think there's a way to make that guy kid-friendly). Their backstories are a little different, and some of them look very different, but in the end, they're essentially the same villains with the same shticks you know from the Batman universe.

Now, all that being said, I hope I haven't turned you off to this show because I actually really did/do enjoy it! Perhaps the biggest difference between this version of Batman and most other modern iterations is that this Batman is... happy.

Like, yes, sure, most of the time when he wears the cowl he's serious and looks more like this:

But deep down, this is not the broody, broken, dark Batman we've seen in most TV shows and movies in the last thirty-forty years. He cracks jokes, he smirks, when he's at home with Alfred he out-and-out smiles, he plays basketball with his friend, Ethan, he goes to work at Wayne Enterprises and actually does stuff there because he's a functioning adult.

Yes, his parents were killed in front of him and it does still haunt him and drive him to stop bad guys, but unlike many versions of Batman, this one seems to have found a way to be happy despite that grief.

And I feel like that's worth something. Gotham and its villains are dark. So dark I can't let my preschooler watch this show anymore. But this Batman still smiles. I just like that.

There's a few other storylines that I think make this show worth it. There's a question throughout the first and some of the second season about how the police should deal with Batman. Ethan, Bruce's best friend, is a cop, and although he doesn't know Batman's identity, feels that Batman is helping the city. Ethan's partner, Ellen Yin, believes that Batman is a vigilante and that makes him a criminal like all the others... until something happens and Yin starts secretly working with the Batman. And then, eventually, Commissioner Gordon arrives and completely embraces Batman as an ally.

Ethan and Yin have another very interesting storyline that I won't spoil

In season three we see the beginning of the Bat Family as Barbara Gordon, the commissioner's daughter, becomes Batgirl, and then in season four Dick Grayson is adopted by Bruce and becomes Robin. I think the kids have some of the most interesting storylines and some of the best quotes, so if the first two seasons aren't doing it for you just skip to season three... except then you'll miss a major plot point that I won't spoil, so... at least watch the last two episodes of season one.

There's an episode that lives in my head rent-free where the city is taken over by zombies, and Batman has to make an antidote all by himself because even his sidekicks and Alfred have been bitten. But there are some things that don't quite make sense (yes, I mean beyond there being zombies), and Batman starts to question whether there's something else going on. I know I normally don't spoil things, but this is a bit of one: at one point in this episode he realizes he might be wrong about the situation, and how to solve it. He says, "If this is a mistake, it's my last," as he submits control. And that moment is so powerful to me because normally Batman is the one in control, the hero who saves the day, but this time he lets himself be defeated to save Gotham. Along with the presence of zombies, a scruffy Bruce and a kind of crazy twist ending, it's a solid episode.

One thing about the later seasons that kind of bugs me is the theme song. In the first two seasons, the theme song is dark and creepy and has a sort of Tubular Bells from the Exorcist feel, complete with this whispered, "The Batman," at the end. Maybe they changed it later because they thought that was too scary for kids, but it fit a lot better than what they did in the later seasons; I guess they took their cue from the old 1950's show because it suddenly sounds like something the Beach Boys wrote. There must be a happy medium, right?

Oh, and I almost forgot. They made a movie. It's called The Batman vs Dracula. You can find it on Max. But seriously, you guys... Batman vs Dracula! 

Ratings:

Kid's entertainment: 3.5/5 stars

My kid does like this show; she asked for it several times before we decided it was too scary for her. Maybe when she's a little older we can try again. But it's not like I started watching it with her in mind!

My entertainment: 4.5/5 stars

I really enjoy this show. I think BTAM may have had a little more depth back in the day, but I think this is a solid entry in the Batman multiverse and I would probably still be watching it on my own if that hadn't been interrupted.

Content: 2.5/5 stars

I already talked about the fact that this show is a little too dark and scary for young kids, but another reason it gets a low grade for content is the fact that there's not a lot of good morals or educational value. Don't get me wrong, it's a fun show, but entertainment is its main job. Besides the fact that Batman wants to protect Gotham, there aren't many good lessons to be learned. In fact, it promotes vigilantism, which is in fact illegal. Sorry, Batman, but it's true. I still love you, though.

Chaotic

My husband and I were trying to think of a new show to watch as a family in the evenings, and I scrolled through Amazon Prime and found several old shows I watched when I was young, including Chaotic. After explaining the absolutely insane premise, I knew I had to share it with the family.

Okay, folks, strap in, because the very idea of this series is, well, chaotic.

In the world of the show, Chaotic is a trading card game similar to Magic: The Gathering or Yu-Gi-Oh!  There's also an online version of the game, and everyone that plays also has a "scanner" that I'm not totally sure what it does in the real world, but I think you can actually scan your physical cards and then play online with those same cards. 

Don't get too hung up on any of this because it has very little to do with most of the series. Even the card game's rules (which I don't think are ever fully explained) isn't important because it turns out there's another aspect to the game.

Our main character, Tom, receives an invitation to enter the world of Chaotic. His best friend, Kaz, has been telling him about this for months, that Chaotic is real and you can actually go there, and of course Tom didn't believe him, but finally decides to enter the secret code sent to him in the invitation into his scanner. Tom then is transported into another... dimension? Or maybe it's like his consciousness got turned into code and he was sucked into the game like Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle? Anyway, he ends up in a sort of lobby area where other online gamers gather before going into the real Chaotic game.

So here's why the card game's rules don't matter. To play Chaotic in the world of Chaotic, you go to a little arena (they call it a battle drome), select the cards you want to play, and then you BECOME the creatures on the cards and are transported to locations you selected to fight your opponent.

One of the battle dromes. I'm telling you, it's called a drome

I won't go too much into the mechanics of this version of the game, either. It's mostly just throwing attacks and using battle gear to take out your opponent. I will mention mugic, though, which is their version of magic spells that have special effects. No, that's not a typo, it's called mugic because the spells are all "songs" and every time someone uses mugic there's this short techno tune followed by the same notes played by an orchestra and there's a bunch of laser lights. Music + magic = mugic, get it? 

No, music isn't a huge theme of any other part of Chaotic, it's just their magic system. I have a feeling the creators really wanted to be different somehow from other card games.

But we're not done, folks. Battling in the dromes is cool, but it's only part of the Chaotic world. Tom also learns that you can transport to yet another dimension or planet or something which contains the actual creatures and locations from the game. This place is called Perim. If you have a scan of a location, you can transport there and scan creatures, battle gear, and even new locations if you walk far enough. The lore of the game actually matters because it's real. And that's where the most interesting plot points in the series come from, in my opinion.

But before I go into the plot, there's one last thing about all of this I want to mention. While Tom is in the world of Chaotic, his consciousness is actually split. In the real world, he continues living his regular life. At a certain point, when the part of his consciousness in the game wants to return home, he clicks a button on this scanner and the part of him in the real world sees the light blinking on his own scanner, clicks it, and their minds meld back together. All the memories from both worlds combine into one.

Can you imagine the possibilities this poses? Let's say you have finals coming up. You could send half of yourself into Chaotic to study one subject while the other stays in the real world and studies another. When you come back together you remember both subjects. 

Got chores to do but also want to hang out with friends? Port to Chaotic and real world you will get the chores done while you play games and eat snacks with your buds (oh, yeah, in the Chaotic lobby area you can order snacks and drinks from floating robots while watching other people's battles on television screens). 

I really hope real me is almost done cleaning.

As a parent, maybe you feel like you and your significant other haven't had a date night in forever, but you can't find a sitter. Port to Chaotic and take a romantic stroll through Perim or play a game in the battle dromes together, all while real world you is still watching the kids at home.

Not to mention the biological implications. As far as I can tell, the part of your consciousness in Chaotic is simply that: consciousness. I believe this because there's an episode where they meet someone who is paraplegic in the real world but can walk in Chaotic. So, does that mean if you're blind or deaf in the real world, you could gain those senses in Chaotic?

On a more trivial note, if you're on a diet in the real world but are craving some chilli cheese fries, you could go to Chaotic, eat your fill, and it wouldn't affect you in the real world. 

I don't quite know what happens if you die in Chaotic (which is possible to do when walking around Perim). Either you would get a notification in the real world on your scanner that your other self is dead, but you can still further split your consciousness to visit Chaotic, or because you can't rejoin minds you would never be able to go back to Chaotic, or use your online deck (which you are locked out of while half of you is in Chaotic). Either way, I think it would be kind of weird knowing part of you had died but you were still alive.

Anyway, entering Chaotic, playing games in the dromes, porting to Perim, all that is just the premise of the show. We haven't even gotten into the plot. At first, there isn't much of one beyond Tom and his friends scanning new creatures and then using them in the battle dromes, with a few episodes all taking place in Perim as they get to know that world.

Yet another aspect of Chaotic I haven't talked about comes into play as well. When you scan a creature, and turn into it in the battle drome, you also gain its memories. Any injuries or mental states that the creature had when you scanned it become part of you in the game. In this way, Tom and his friends learn about problems in Perim and even do a little spying at times.

In Perim these two are enemies, but Tom and his friend Kaz play as them in the dromes.

The lore of the game also becomes a big part of the plot. There are four different tribes in Perim, and the Overworlders and Underworlders in particular are constantly fighting. There's also the Mipedians and Danians, and while they aren't mortal enemies like the other two, everyone obviously thinks their tribe is the best. 

Tom and his friends become involved in the wars and relations between the tribes, and eventually a catastrophic event changes everything.

But no spoilers here, except to say that the animation changes partway through the series going from a flat asthetic to basically anime. That's not due to the catastrophic event, though. My guess is they got more funding and realized they could hire more animators.

The characters go from looking like this

To looking like this

Ratings:

Kid entertainment: 4/5 stars

We've been watching Chaotic as a family for the last two weeks or so, and my daughter loves it. We haven't even gotten to the main plot yet! I'm not exactly sure what it is that draws her in so, if it's the creatures or the magic or the main human characters, but she can't wait to watch it as a family every day.

My entertainment: 4/5 stars

I would honestly love to give this a higher rating because I know it gets so good, but some episodes are kind of fillers right now and not super interesting, so I knocked it down from a 5 to a 4. But I remember loving this show when I was young and the plot gets so crazy! I highly recommend you give it a try, but if you don't love it at first, hang on at least until the animation changes. You'll see.

Content: 3.5/5 stars

Okay, so I guess there's not a ton of good morals or educational content in here. It's mostly for entertainment. But Tom is a good guy and he tries to help the people of Perim, which they notice (most Chaotic players just sneak scans and port back, but Tom and his friends are willing to run errands for some creatures or even put themselves in danger to protect them). And there are other positive messages about friendship, believing in yourself, and some even deeper themes of equality, sacrifice, and forgiveness.

But those can get overshadowed by the giant creatures throwing attacks at each other.

Technically this show was originally rated TV-Y7, but I haven't seen anything so far that I feel uncomfortable with my kid watching. Some of the creatures are kind of scary, and the main characters certainly end up in peril a lot of the time. Also, if your kids are prone to acting out fight scenes maybe you want to avoid it because there are plenty of those (though mostly they fight with magic, not punching and kicking).

Secrets of Sulphur Springs

 

Secrets of Sulphur Springs is a show that we watched as a family after dinner because my husband and I need a little down time at the end of the day, and we needed something that would be kid-friendly. Our after dinner shows are usually a little more grown up than what our kids choose to watch on their own, and their interest in these family shows vary. Secrets of Sulphur Springs is probably more for my husband and I than for our kids.

Secrets of Sulphur Springs is about a family that move back to the dad's childhood home, Sulphur Springs, in order to buy the abandoned hotel and fix it up. The reason the hotel was abandoned is a young girl named Savannah disappeared one summer at a camp run by the hotel. Rumors of her ghost haunting the establishment have proliferated in the town ever since. The oldest son, Griffin, soon discovers a bunker in the basement of the hotel with an odd device that turns out to be a kind of time machine. He of course messes with it and goes back in time to meet Savannah before she disappears, along with a much younger version of his dad.

It's been a while since I watched Season 1, and so many things happen in each season, but here's what I mostly remember. Griffin also meets a girl his age (in his time) named Harper, and Harper's mom does not like her going over to the hotel constantly. I don't remember if this is because she dislikes talk of ghosts, if she's afraid of the supposed curse of the hotel, or if there's something else, but over and over again she forbids Harper from going to the hotel. Griffin's mom, meanwhile, also feels that he shouldn't be hanging out with Harper, and I think it's because when the two of them are together they do things she doesn't like, such as going down to the basement, disappearing for long periods of time, and discussing ghosts, which scares the twins, Zoey and Wyatt, Griffin's younger siblings. Anyway, both moms mutually agree Griffin should stay away from Harper, the one friend he has made since moving to their new home. They are never able to enforce this rule.

Wyatt and Zoey are constantly ghost hunting in the show, and this bothers the adults so much they ban the word, "ghost," which is a problem when you have a literal ghost in your home.

Meanwhile, Griffin and Harper keep going through the bunker time portal to try to save Savannah by gathering clues about what is about to happen to her. Creepy stuff keeps happening in the hotel, making them believe Savannah is trying to speak to them from beyond the grave, but the creepy stuff is also ruining the repairs Griffin's parents are trying to make to the hotel so they can reopen the place. 

In later seasons, as the kids continually go back in time for other purposes, I often wanted to scream at the kids to just tell their parents about the time portal. Things would be so much easier if they just explained, "We disappear for hours because we go back in time in order to save Savannah. Would you like to come with us and help because we are obviously way out of our league here?" Seriously, their parents are freaking out at weird things happening in the house and then further freaking out because their kids keep disobeying and going into the forbidden basement. If they knew what was actually going on they might be a real asset instead of a hindrance.

The other major failing of this show is that all three seasons take place one right after another, but filming each season takes several months if not a year and these kids are growing fast. I think the twins are supposed to be ten or younger, but by the third season Wyatt is really hitting his stride and starting to look like a young man. In Stranger Things, where each season takes place several months or years apart, you can believe that the kids have grown a little and that's why they look so different. When a season picks up where the last one left off and suddenly Griffin is growing facial hair, it feels like you stepped through some kind of time portal yourself.

These pictures supposedly take place within a few months of each other. Puberty hits fast in Sulphur Springs

But for a kid's show, this one has some nice plotlines and twists and turns. I struggled a little to remember season 1 because seasons 2 and 3 introduce so many other secrets and revelations. I didn't want to spoil anything so I had to be a little more vague with this review, because there are a LOT of potential spoilers. As I said above, this was more for my husband and I than it was for our kid. In fact sometimes it got a little scary and we had to cuddle our kid to help them through. The ghost in the hotel isn't always friendly.

Ratings:

Kid entertainment: 2.5/5 stars

I'm not sure whether my kid actually enjoys this show. Most of the time they watch for a few minutes and then end up playing on the floor with their toys while my husband and I watch. But I seem to remember at least a few times my kid commented on things happening so I think they were at least sort of engaged? This might be better for older kids.

My entertainment: 4/5 stars

The main reason we watched this was to have something family friendly we could watch and relax with while our kid was in the room, and in the end we accomplished our goal. Our kid may not care for it, but we certainly do. I mean, it's not on the same level as Brooklyn 99 or The Mandalorian, but we like it. Maybe I'm making it out to be better than it is because when it comes to finding a show we can watch with our kid that we actually enjoy, anything with a good plot is like rain in a drought. 

Content: 3/5 stars

I guess there's a little bit in there about friendship and helping others, and I suppose you could argue going back in time teaches a little about how things were in the past (there is some discussion about race when Harper, a black girl, goes back in time), but this show is primarily meant to entertain, not educate. And that's fine. There's nothing really bad, so I don't feel bad about my kid watching it. Although it can get a little scary with the ghost stuff, so I also wouldn't have her watch it alone... not that she would want to.